Engrish

A few weeks ago I made a strategic navigational mistake while leaving Shinbashi Station in Tokyo and ended up in the basement of the eki-biru (if you've never been to Japan: many stations, especially in cities, have a building above / below / beside / opposite the station with a variety of shops, restaurants etc.). This particular basement was lined with izakaya-type establishments, all of which were closed, but from the look of them would appeal to the kind of people who hang out around Shinbashi for fun, and for a minute I thought I'd stumbled into some kind of mid-80's gastronomic ghost town. Then I realised it was Sunday morning, and the only action on a Sunday morning in Shinbashi is the crowds heading to the Yurikamome.

Being completely deserted and without the aural hubbub which usually dominates such places other senses came into play, and I couldn't help noticing a very distinctive olfactory undertone of stale beer and even staler cigarette smoke. Hastening towards the nearest exit, (which put me neatly on the wrong side of an uncrossable street), I realised that that was, of course, the answer to a question which had been bothering me ever since I'd sighted the below establishment: what, exactly, is "bar breath"?

Bar Breath - バーブレス (seen in Yoyogi, link).

When in Japan it's always advisable to take a camera with you whenever you go out, even if it's just for a walk around the immediate neighbourhood. It's quite likely you'll come across something of interest which you never noticed before, such as a shop or other establishment with a name designed to cause amusement and general merriment in the English-speaking world.

Further investigation does - much to the disappointment of the passing male libido - reveal a slightly less utopial side to this clinic: Minami Aoyama Breastopia Clinic

Following his breakup from Barbie (link), Ken has evidently fallen on hard times and is now offering himself for rent in Tokyo.

Ken - available by the hour?

If you're like me, however badly the hairdresser tries to massacre your hair, you always come out looking like a seriously stylish, cool dude. So if you really want a terrible, nay ridiculous haircut, then check out "Ridicule hair & make" in the otherwise seriously trendy backstreets of Jingumae in Tokyo.

I was of the impression that in my childhood days I had read all the Paddington Bear books, but it seems there's at least one edition my parents kept from me, if this advertising poster from the Ôgaki Kyôritsu Bank (大垣共立銀行, link), seen in Gifu, is anything to go by.

Paddington Bear's HOT service

This car-parking establishment in Gifu City has evidently been in the 21st century 23 years longer than the rest of us. If you parked a car there in the late seventies / early eighties and were wondering what had happened to it, you can now pick it up from the lot around the back.

Ukai Parking

There is a link: http://www.ukai-parking.co.jp/ but it doesn't seem to be working.

By law all Japanese bakeries have to prominently feature non-sensical English on their signs and / or packaging. This is the Gifu London Bakery & Cafe's contribution:

Quality & Value - made fresh from a contemporary bakery and gourmet bakery breads in your love life

When our hearts are fully satisfied, our tastebuds are fully satisified.

(Presumably you won't need to trouble your stomach with this fresh and delicious sandwich if you have full satisfaction in your heart.)