Engrish

This is the Nr. 2 ASS Building, containing the "ASS Clinic" (ASSクリニック) which offers counseling (カウンセリング). I was tempted to go in and asked if mine "looked big in this", and also where the Nr. 1 ASS Building was, but it was late at night and they were closed.

Seen somewhere in the vicinity of the western Yamanote line, probably in Shinjuku, in 2006.

Since IKEA opened its first Japanese store in 2006, many Tokyoites have begun to suffer from a condition known as "Swedish Foot". This is a direct result of spending many hours trailing round after your spouse in a vast, warehouse-like store full of flatpack furniture bearing strange Scandinavian names such as Lottsajünk. Sufferers can find relief at this massage place in the subterranean space around Ikebukuro Station, where they will receive - according to the katakana byline (barely visible on the photo) - a "メトロポリタン ハートフルサービス": a "metropolitan heartful service".

One of the disadvantages of modern urban living the lack of facilities and space for keeping domestic fowl. Should you move into Tokyo and be at a loss as to where to keep your ducks, this store on Harajuku's Takeshita Dôri will come in very handy.

Some forced bodily downtime has given me the opportunity to surf the net at random... Just as in real life, it turns out the Japanese part of the interweb is full of words which are similar to, but not quite, English.

This example found at http://e-wish.cc/info.htm.

See lithe Maris Pipers spring from trapeze to trapeze! Watch the mighty King Edward perform death-defying leaps through a sheet of flaming cooking fat! Marvel as a tuber tamer puts his head into the ravening jaws of a Russet Burbank! All this and more at the Potato Circus!

Potato Circus - seen in Sapporo

Pining for the olden days? An establishment of doubtful provenence near Ikebukuro Station, Tokyo.

Modern Times Deny

If you cried when Bambi's mother died: now you can eat Bambi herself at this hip deer joint in Harajuku, Tokyo.

Meat Shop Bambi

I purchased this reinforced polystyrene cup complete with contents on a train in Japan, and was most alarmed to read the description:

I'm going WEST with a cup of coffee.

The beverage was admittedly a little bitter (tip: don't go to Japan for the coffee), but I survived to be able to write these lines.

(For the uninitiated: the "WEST" reference is due to the fact that the coffee was provided by the train company "JR West Japan").