Engrish

Every now and again I find my smile growing out of control, so I like to take it to this place in Oimachi (Shinagawa-ku) to have it trimmed round the edges and get my lips shaved.

The other morning I found myself on an Osaki-bound Yamanote Line train, which is always annoying because I need to go one station round the corner to Shinagawa (seasoned Yamanote Line veterans will know what I'm talking about and also that this means I am travelling just after the morning rush, hehe). Anyway, I took the opportunity to get off at Harajuku and do something I've been meaning to do for weeks while waiting for a train headed up the eastern side of the Yamanote, which is to take the above picture of a poster advertising f*ing stockings from who else but Fukuske.

Hello
I don't have any time to talk with you, right now??
I want to do just shopping at LUMINE EST.
It's just soo amazing!!
I'll call you
back later, Chao

A clever piece of reverse marketing psychology by boutique mall Lumine Est at Shinjuku Station (formerly known as My City and not to be confused with Lumine 1 or Lumine 2)? Disparage your latest store in the hope the punters will flock to see its awfulness?

Philosophers have long been plagued by the classic conundrum, "which came first: the dog or the egg?" Now, thanks to the unceasing efforts of South Korean genetic researchers, the world's first fowl-mutt hybrid has been created, and it is already available in edible form from many of Tokyo's excellent convenience stores for the introductory price of around 100 Yen.

I did indeed bite and taste it, but can only presume yummy is being used to convey its less common meaning of "tastes like cardboard mulch".

I have indeed moved to a wouderful room, and I was delighted to find it contained a witty trash can which keeps me entertained with amusing stories during the long Tokyo nights.

Make your life to be conveniently and joyful by Inomata 

Ridiculously busy and jetlagged right now, so back to that old staple of Japan blogs, amusing combinations of words masquerading as English. Here found on the packaging inlay of the tray depicted on the packaging, which I am not using to store spaghetti in, but rather the spaghetti-like collection of cables and whatnot which are an inescapable part of conveniently and joyful modern electronic amenity life.

Cost: 105 yen from the local 100 yen shop (the additional 5 yen is sales tax). 

When short of material, throw in some random Engrish pictures - it's cheap, and keeps the overseas readers amused. Here for your low-brow amusement some Panky Chocolate from Meiji Chocolate. It's, err, chocolate with bits of bread in it. Must have come out in the last year or so. It was OK as these things go, but I haven't felt any particular urge to indulge for a second time.

I don't know whether Jonathan Woss reads this blog (I presume not), but should he be making a TV series in Tokyo again and be in need of precautionary medical diagnosis, I have just the place for him.