Penguin 3, Cockroaches 0

I'm sure you don't the start of your week, as the start of mine did, to involve the Creatures That Shall Not Be Named (hereafter CTSNBN), so in consideration of your sensitive feelings and possible lack of Mind Bleach in your medicine cabinet I have hidden the story below the fold.

I awoke around 6:30am to what appeared to be a wonderful Monday morning with sunlight filtering through the shoji (those indoor wood-framed paper sliding screens), which in a fit of general joy to experience the start of a fresh new day I threw open.

There was a tiny but distinct thud as something fell from behind them onto my pillow.

Something dark and vaguely lozenge-shaped.

Something with legs. And tendrillic feelers.

I spontaneously emitted a sound which could best be rendered textually as "WAAH WUUURRGH!".

There was a three second standoff before I leapt for the balcony door and Mr. Cockroach (fortunately I have nil experience in sexing cockroaches so I am just guessing here) scrambled for a fold in the pillow cover.

Your mistake, Mr. Cockroach.

I am not a morning person but adrenaline does wonders for one's reactions.

Without pausing to think, in one swift pillow-flicking move Mr. Cockroach was describing an arc up and outwards towards the balcony. Another swift move had me diving out onto the balcony, twisting down to pick up the Cockroach Slipper Of Death and the Cockroach Slipper Of Death was suddenly describing another arc this time downwards with a considerable application of kinetic energy and BAM! Mr. Cockroach was removed from the gene pool.

Which on further reflection is cause for concern because I may well be contributing towards the evolution of a breed of superroaches which are aware of and know how to avoid slippers but as long as they stay away from my balcony that's fine by me.