Sunday, August 24, 2008   7:39 PM

Penguin 1, Cockroach 0

So, there I was lying on the floor in my nice new tatami room enjoying the sheer Japaneseness of it all while watching a pirated episode of a British TV series with Hangul subtitles from a Korean YouTube knockoff, when a sudden movement caught my eye.

Yes. One of those creatures. The kind Mr. Foreign Salaryman recently blogged about (warning: contains no-holds-barred picture in graphic detail including the long tendrillic feelers), which caused me a moment of smugness as I've been in this place a week and not yet seen one.

Fortunately it was outside on the balcony.

Unfortunately I have not yet acquired any of the requisite items for an anti-roach rapid deployment arsenal.

Fortunately I have a pair of plastic slippers on the balcony.

Unfortunately cockroaches are quick, wily creatures apt to scurry away at the slightest disturbance.

Fortunately it was a very stupid cockroach and ran in the wrong direction, turned round and came back.

Straight into the path of an expertly (if I say so myself) wielded slipper. One further application was sufficient to ecologically dispatch Mr. Cockroach wherever cockroaches go after entering a deceased status (hopefully somewhere very very far away) and I returned to my illicit TV viewing.

However the thought of a cockroach outside on the balcony, however deceased, was not one I wanted to entertain for very long, so once the programme had ended I found some material suitable for expiditing the aerial disposal of aforesaid insect corpse, when a sudden movement caught my eye.

"Oh noes! Has Mr. Cockroach come back to life?" I thought to myself with a tremor of atavistic fear. Fortunately my angst proved ungrounded, but unfortunately that meant there were now two cockroaches on the balcony. This one was however somewhat more agile than its predecessor and scurried back to whence it came, which appears to be a small hole in the wall between my and my neighbour's balcony, which wouldn't be there any more except that I have no idea where to buy sealant in Tokyo late on a Sunday evening.

Posted in Life in Japan
Comments
Hilarious and extremely well written. Reading that has injected some much-needed humor into my workday.
Posted by: jturningpin | 2008-08-26 06:08
But, as a former resident of Texas, let me remind you that the little fuckers are not so easily gotten rid of. Well, unless you also have some geckos move into the house. Two of them in the kitchen, and my place was utterly roach-free.
Posted by: Ed Ward | 2008-08-26 11:59
I'm from Texas as well and I was SO SURE that when I moved here I would be moving away from the little assholes forever. These bug blogs are less than comforting.
Posted by: Tokyo Cowgirl | 2008-08-28 16:16
I'm from northern Europe and while the critters do exist there, they're more a thing of legend and it was quite a culture shock the first time I made the acquaintance of one here.

On the positive (or at least less negative) side they're more of a pest than a plague providing you stick to basic hygiene principles and don't have the misfortune to live next to a restaurant.

That hasn't stopped me acquiring another pair of slippers for the other balcony (did I mention I have two balconies? I do, and it's a proper one as well, not one of these glorified window boxes you so often find here. Though it does overlook a petrol station, whose staff will shortly need convincing they do not need to play popular Japanese music for a few hours every evening) as a deterrent. I believe word has spread within the local roach community and I have not been troubled since.
Posted by: ThePenguin | 2008-08-28 23:38
Ok, Penguin, take a look at my latest post please!
Posted by: Mr. Salaryman | 2008-08-29 10:08
But don't forget, as the saying goes, for every one you see, there are another 34,000 close by.
Posted by: an englishman in osaka | 2008-09-02 00:49
Englishman in Osaka, what a pleasure! Yes, the rustling from the neighbouring balcony makes me suspsect that saying might be correct, give or take a couple of thousand either way.
Posted by: ThePenguin | 2008-09-02 12:02