A New Commuter Trick

Just when you think you've seen it all... there I was at Shinagawa Station, waiting on board the little local train in the general direction of Yokohama to puff into action (well, it was electric of course, but that line still has some quite quaint old-fashioned looking trains hailing from a foregone era) and minding my own business while noting that the doors were closing accompanied by the usual "doors are closing and don't even think about trying to board this train" which was a sure sign it would be departing very shortly (the slightest spot of rain always seems to muck the timetable on that line up somewhat) when Mrs. Fat Middle-Age Trout comes waddling down the steps onto the platform. Now, I would be a whole lot more kindly disposed towards Mrs. Trout and love her for her beautiful mind and not her toad-like body if she hadn't done what she then did, which was to stick her bag into the door literally as it was about to close all the way.

Now, if I'd been the person standing by the door I would have - without stopping to think - pulled open the door slightly and pushed the bag firmly back out, because try a trick like that where I come from and you'd be dragged along the platform and possibly impaled upon the platform end signals unless you had the presence of mind to let go of the bag, something which probably wouldn't occur to Mrs. Trout, who - let's be honest here - is probably a bit of a stupid bint who deserves whatever's coming to her (such as the next immobile, sharp and pointy signalling device).

But, this being Japan, the guard opened all the doors again, allowing Mrs. Trout to board at the inconvenience of the person who was standing by the doors, and the train was only delayed by 15 seconds or so, which - all things considered - is better than the inevitable indefinite delay which would have been caused by what I would happily have testified to the inquest as being the last suicidal act of an obviously deranged person.

The rest of the day wasn't too bad though.